Thursday, May 23, 2013

Gay Fiance?

I am a single mother of two have always been nervous to bring any man around my children. When I finally let my now fiancé into our lives he is great with my kids; so good to me. I have noticed him make comments here and there about... one time he got some nudie pictures over a text of a man who "supposedly" thought he was sending pictures to a woman he met at a club. She must have given him a wrong number my guy replied. I can believe that b/c I have given a persistent annoying man a fake number when I was a teen because he just wouldn't stop bothering me.

Anyway.. my bf (at the time) said he thought it would be funny to mess w/ him & send him a picture of his "below" & ask if male sender was interested in some "di*k".... sending as in a joking matter but to come across as real. My fiance also said he got a little graphic with his wording.

Another red flag; some of his coworkers from construction jobs call each other baby or princess but mostly baby. He said they just like to mess around w/ each other calling each other "winey" but when he talks to them on the phone his ending notes are usually alright baby or hey baby.

If you can help me I would be so grateful. I really care for my fiance & my kids adore him. He just asked for my hand a couple weeks ago but if he is into men I would rather just be close friends like family in a way because I don't want my kids to be hurt from any of this if he is into men;. Plus I do deserve to protect myself & my children's feelings. I am a open minded personality, never judgemental & very excepting but I don't know the questions to ask to get a answer w/o making him nervous or upset.

I did confront him before & his reaction is to laugh it off but in a awkward way & with answering no babe I'm not gay. What are good questions to ask; do you think he could be into men? How can I go about this? I would support him no matter what he is but I don't want to start my life w/ him based on a lie.

Thank you for your time & help Dr. Bill

Let's look at why you think your fiancé might be gay. First we've got the business of him calling other guys baby, but that's hardly what I call a red flag. Lots of guys do that. [I call everybody baby but that's another story.] I'm talking about straight guys. "Hey, baby" is just an expression, and I wouldn't think it relates to sexual orientation at all.

Now we got the business with his receiving nude pictures of a man. It could have been an accident. His sending a photo of his penis to this guy is a little "out there," but it could be that your fiancé has a weird sense of humor. It's probably not the brightest thing he ever did.

I suggest reading my post "Asking Your Boyfriend If He's Gay" if you haven't already. Sometime the best way to lead into a discussion of sexual orientation is to start with current events, such as the debate over gay marriage. Ask him if he's for or against, then you can delve into things more deeply as the conversation progresses.

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