Monday, October 4, 2010

Boyfriend Marries Woman Part 2

The following is in response to my past last month on Boyfriend Marries Woman.

Thanks Dr. Bill for your answer -

A few more clarifications from my end - - well my partner did mention raising kids at some point in the past but I did not show much enthusiasm and we let the matter drop- had I known it meant so much to him I would have gladly gone in for surrogacy of a child as I wanted to be with him at any cost.

Unfortunately the arranged marriage bit is very real. I chose not to believe it hoping that he was just testing me but a few days before he left he came home with gifts from his office mates and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Sometimes we just don't want to believe the ominous signs...

My intense regret is that we both did so much to make a life together and to just throw it away after a silly argument is rash and immature. I cut-off ties with friends and family to just be solely with him and now most of my friends are either smug or don't want to have anything to do with me.

Yes you are right I don't intend in having a 3rd person in our relationship and I hope I am strong enough to tell him that when he comes back. Doc I am trying very hard not to be bitter or hate. Yes I know I must play the field again and I will but for now I am hoping he comes back and gives me hope for both of us to be together still. After all as you say gay men should remain with other gay men.

Here's a question for you: since he is a top gay man does that make him more prone to bi-sexuality than say a bottom ?

Thanks and regards.

Well this guy doesn't sound like a genuine bisexual to me, just someone who is giving in to parental pressure and marrying the woman that his parents have apparently picked out for him. It's a shame he doesn't have the strength to resist this. But to answer your question, there's no evidence to suggest that bisexual men are more likely to be tops or vice versa, just as there is no correlation between how butch of femme a guy may be and whether or not he's a top or bottom. Some homosexual men with "issues" refuse to be bottoms [even if that's what they really want] because they think it "unmanly" -- which is often why they wind up with women. There are also guys who have "straight" sex with women -- generally their wives [or beards] -- and then put up the legs for the men in their lives.

If your friends are not being supportive, then to hell with them. You'll make new friends -- and find a great new guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

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